fastest ending EVAR

when i look back on how fast pearl closed.. it kind of makes me head swim. here is a simple timeline

4 weeks ago: pearl announces that 8 out of 16 stores are going to close. those stores include san francisco CA, falls chruch VA, philly PA, chicago IL, tampa FL, rockville MD, somewhere in upperstate NY, and somewhere in NJ. all of those stores go to a 60% off sale.

at this time, all the employees in cambridge (where i was) breathe a sign of releif that we aren't on the chopping block.

about half a week after that: pearl announces that 3 more of the stores are going to a 60% off sale. cambridge MA, los angeles CA, and long island NY. we are all assured that it's just to boost sales and not because we are closing. cambridge employees start to get a little nervous.. try to stay cool.

about a week after that: pearl announces that those stores are closing. cambridge employees collectively say "fuck! i knew it!"

a couple of days after that: we go to 75% off. the store had about a week of unruly customers and consitent lines that typically went all the way around the first floor and down the stairs. cashiers and supervisors spend 10+ hours a day at the register.. everyone was stressed, and a bit pissy.

about 3 days after that: we have one day at 90% off. insanity and all hell ensues. i beat up a hooker, and ended up wearing a coffee cup of baileys ***

in the end, our manager allowed us to squirrel away things we wanted to buy on the last day. i ended up getting about $2,000 worth of supplies for a little less that $200.

the day after we closed (it was a thursday): we start cleaning up the wreckage that the animals (because thats what the customers were acting like) left behind. at this point, we are under the impression that we will still have our jobs for about 2 weeks... to be spent cleaning and taking down fixtures as well as packing up product. later that afternoon, our manager got a call from the owner and a staff meeting was called. we were told that we had until sunday to get all of the remaining product packed and trash picked up. for us, it became smash and grab packing.. the whole weekend was completely miserable.

now, its friday and it's been just about a week since we've closed. i've found myself being very mopey and weepy.. i find that i really don't like having no place to go with only my mind to kick around in. i'm pretty over it.

the end is near

today we got the call. tomorrow will most likely be the last day we open our doors. for the past week and a day or so, we've been at a 75% off sale.. tomorrow it goes to 90%. i am somewhat greatful that i've put off buying the dollhouse they had there. it's original price was $360.. i'm basically getting it at dollhouse forclosure prices.

as a side story, i had a dollhouse growing up. when i moved out here to boston, it came with me. it was very thin and very old. some roomates had a party.... and i think you can figure out the rest. i've been eyeballing the one at work for about 6 months.. watching shawn build it. now i have one again.

i also slapped a sold sign on a little sewing table that started off at $149. i consider this and the house my severeance.

i spent most of the day in our receiving department. partially because pat could sense that i was becoming a little ornery (one of which actually drew blood from me!) with some of the customers and because she has repeatedly told me i am the best transfer person. meaning.. i pack boxes well. i credit this to the fact that i've moved in boston so many times and i was sick of having my stuff get broken. i suppose in some offbeat way, it's a compliment. i think the only thing i'm not crazy about was the fact that receiving is very cold.. brrrr!

pat (my general manager) was back there for some of the day. i feel like i've finally figured her out and come to really like her.. now, i won't see her anymore. we were chatting alot today. neither one of us is looking forward to the day tomorrow. people become really nasty for those types of prices and our staff has already been through hell and back with the 75% days. we ultimately came to the conclusion that we are both really pretty ready for pearl to close to the public. it's a slow process so far. we're both really tired of coming home so sore too.

oy. i think the first day i have off, i may sleep late. after that.. it's art time.

always on the go, go, go..

i am going to whine for a couple of lines. i'm whining via blog, because i can't whine with my voice.. it's gone. this evening steve decided to shove a flashlight down my throat then hop on webMD. we've gone through this one before.. dr. steve seems to think it's strep throat. sure.. why not. i plan on giving my dr. a call on my lunch break to see if she can fit me in tomorrow afternoon. i hate that in the winters, i can never seem to get away from being ill.

ok. whining over.

this past weekend. oy vey. we went to springfield and packed all of the things i wanted into totes. the dumpster dude was supposed to come, but his truck was broken. it kind of sucked because this weekend was PERFECT weather wise.. it would have been nice to throw all of that stuff and garbage out. i went through everything. i put alot of it into trashbags and just some of it into totes. we had brought 6 totes with us.. i only filled 2.5. my gut instinct was to keep it all, but my head is telling me i just can't do that. i can't do it to myself.. or to steve. i seperated all of her clothes out.. i kept a couple of pieces.. i think it was just 3 or 4, but put all of the rest of it into bags to go to goodwill. again.. it was the fight of instinct vs. mind.

i was able to make the determination about the stove having to go.. i suppose a stove that's oven is held shut with a bungee cord and that doesn't quite shut all the way isn't really worth salvaging. it's fantastic to know that not only did i have to worry about the fire hazard (their garbage) on top of the stove, but the actual oven itself. *sigh* the washer also needs to go.. i still have to figure out how to get the water out of it. the other appliances seem to be in normal working order. there is so much garbage in the house.. good lord. i'm so looking forward to getting it out of there and just starting fresh(ish).

since we only stayed the day in springfield yesterday, today i decided to be proactive and look at home depot to pick out the colors for the mass repainting. i decided to go with all very light neutrals.. although not browns. just about all the colors i chose are just a couple of steps above creme.. except with a little hint of color to keep it light. since the upstairs bedrooms will most likely be re-carpeted.. i chose a couple of samples.. all different shades of brown. easy to hide any future stains.. and won't further ruin the hardwood floors. i wanted to do it today before i had people around.. i get distracted easily and wanted to stay focused on the neutral picking. i also looked at tile ideas for the bathroom.. i have no idea what the hell i'm doing.. but it was kind of fun to think about the possibilities.

well, i would blog more, but i have the morning shift at work, so i need to shower and hit the hay.

more later.


and since i threw it out on facebook.. i thought i'd throw it out here as well. next weekend, if anyone is out in the springfield area and could spare an hour or two to help steve and i schlep some stuff out of the langdon street house... and MAYBE help us start priming.. it would be greatly appreciated. after all is said and done... pizza is on us :)

resolutions 2010

its starting to bug me... i'm not having any problems remembering that its '10, but i keep writing it like this.. 20010. ugh.

revisiting my resolutions from last year... the commentary on them is in red

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1. continue going to the gym. not specifically to trim down, but to continue the health resolution i made last year. i see the health issues my mom has, and i don't want to go down that road. i want to feel good, i want to have kids, i want to be active and have a long life. i don't want to finish a hike at camp and feel like collapsing. i mean... yes.. i would love to look trimmer... but it's really not the objective at this stage in my life. i just want to have my health.

the first half of the year, i was doing great with this. i went at least 3-4 times a week and was making progress. towards the end of the year, i didn't have to go to the gym at all. the stress from the wedding and moms passing did it all. not the effective way to lose, but it happened either way. now that i'm at pearl so much, i also haven't quite figured out how to balance the gym and my work schedule. i don't feel too terrible about this mostly because i am NEVER sedentary at work. the store is 2 stories and HUGE to boot so i am constantly going up and down the stairs. again.. not an excuse, it just is what it is. i still haven't canceled the membership yet, and i still strive to get steve to come with me. now that i am properly insured, i also plan on trying to move forward with the gastric bypass surgery. i'm making fair progress on my own, but in the big picture i kind of need the help. i'm starting to come up with some of the medical issues that my mom had, and i want to put the kibosh on that ASAP.

2. grow as an artist. along with constantly practicing and honing my skills, i want to learn new ones. i want to make myself the best possible artist i can be. i would love to make it a full time job, and not have to worry about having part time jobs and crafting. i like being busy and having places to go... but i want my art to be my career. i would like to continue to build on my writing skills and maybe venture into both writing children's books and maybe writing short essays similar to two of my favorite writers dan zevin ("the day i turned uncool: confessions of a reluctant grown-up") and dave barry ("homes and other black holes" just to name one..). it's a tall order... but it's one to just keep working on.

i would definitely say that i've managed to do this one. not so much with the writing, but i have experimented and played with new mediums. i found some specific interest in new styles of drawing and woodblock printing. the drawing i'll touch on later, but the woodblock printing was awesome. there is so much planning and detail that goes into the whole process... its really pretty neato. i shall also continue this resolution to the new year.

3. hone my fine art skills. it's not all just about what types of cute cuddly creatures i can create. but thanks to my two professors kyle and jeff... i've learned that perspective and figures are important too. i want to experiment more with pencil and charcoal drawing and also try to fit some typical buildings and fruit drawings in there. it's important to keep your skills sharp.

this and #2.. kind of the same thing.

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the new resi's...

1. actually draw the comic.
i've had this idea for a comic in my head for months now.. i find that my friends and i lead a somewhat amusing life (but simple.. that last statement sounded a little egotistical). sometimes they (and me) seem to get into places or times that are really very funny. or sometimes steve will do these things that are just ridiculous and hilarious. i started using myself as a model to see if i could cartoon someone... and i had a really fun time doing it. i took a series of snapshots of myself making all sorts of faces.. happy, angry, sad.. just a whole bunch, and went to town with my micron pens and markers. more to come as soon as i find a scanner :D

my main inspiration is girls with slingshots . i've also been combing through all of my old "calvin and hobbes" comic books and steve's "get fuzzy" books.

i also have no idea for comic names.. please feel free to leave suggestions!

2. continue to get rid of junk.
this really should have been listed as #1, but.. c'est la vie. if we are looking into buying a house and moving this year.. there is no way in heck that i want to take it all with me.. period.

3. keep up the health stuff.
also pretty self explanatory if you read the previous years resolutions :)


4. try new things with steve.
sometimes as a couple.. we tend to split off and go our own ways. this happens mostly because we have very little in common. we are both guilty of sometimes neglecting the other, but when we do spend time together and go places, we have the best time ever. i want to have more adventures with steve and also try some of the things he likes even if they aren't really my interest :)

your days are numbered PC... consider yourself on notice.

is this the look of a PC that should be shaking in its cables? why yes.. i think it is >:)

in the very near future, i will be inheriting chris's imac. it will be my first official mac, not counting the iphone. i am so excited i can hardly stand it. as an artist, i should be using a mac anyways. it's what just about every company uses in the industry, yet i still use a PC. i've always had a love/hate relationship with my dell. i often find that i have viruses.. sometimes it crashes my itunes and as of recently, i've had to do ALOT of re-starts on my old beast. another slight irritation is that i am losing alot of room.. i download my music and endless photos.. and steve downloads.. well i'm not exactly sure what it is, i'm sure it has to do with his d&d and whatnot.. alot of game stuff.. some things for work too. i don't so much mind it when he downloads, i just need him to file things so they aren't cluttering up my desktop. i suggested that when the mac arrives.. those practices will be "no mas".

he seems a little bittered by the mac. he says it's because it doesn't play anything but browser games. (for those not in the know.. i wasn't.. browser games are just on the internet.. not actual computer played games) my response to that.. "well how many games do i actually play love?" we also stopped by the mac store at the mall, i had asked him if he wanted to see the newer version of what i was getting. this is it (although its the older model)

he took one look at it, peered around the side and asked "where is the tower?" i basically told him, "see, macs are so awesome, and so they don't need one."

i got the "look", and we left. i don't think he's convinced. maybe when he sees how completely user friendly it is, the fact that i won't have any viruses, and that they just WORK.. he might be a little happier. plus, he will probably take over my beast and turn it into a platform for.. well i guess whatever it is he does with computers.

i'm absolutely excited to see my new mac looking all sleek and happy on my desk :D

i've been laying a bit low lately.. not really feeling exactly perky. there is alot going on with the house that seems to just be a huge headache. i am feeling pressure from so many sources about what should be done with the house. it's terribly overwhelming. i know that i have to get rid of most of what is in there.. i want to keep it, but rationally i understand that it really isn't feasible. it's another thing that i find overwhelming since i have a serious problem getting rid of things. as of recently i have a sort of monday night ritual.. although it is not always necessarily a monday night thing.

i know my mom had a problem with clutter.. and so do i.. (steve does a little bit too, but he mostly blames me). i've been watching that ridiculously sad show on a&e "hoarders". i DO NOT want to become that, i also don't want to have the same problems my mom had. i've watched a bunch of times and it shoves me into this craze of just getting rid of stuff. clutter. junk. things i REALLY don't need. another classification for things going out the door.. have i touched/seen/read/used this item within the last year? no? adios. i've given away appliances i've kept "just in case" the new this or that breaks down because i finally rationalized in my mind that i really don't need it....

it's been a long process and will probably continue for a long time. but i think it actually takes alot (or at least it did for me) to recognize that it was a real problem and i needed to change it. nichele and rain have happily offered to help out.. but i suspect that their version of helping me would be very overwhelming.. (love you guys!!)

and last but not least..

i've been listening to alot of "phoenix" lately. it feels like jamiroquai (who i REALLY used to love) and has an excellent message and beat. it makes me dance in the kitchen :) this is one of the songs that's really resonated:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhwufCg7THM

lyrics:

They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive
It's like a bad day that never ends
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There are things in my life that I can't control

They say love ain't nothing but a sore
I don't even know what love is
Too many tears have had to fall
Don't you know I'm so tired of it all
I have known terror dizzy spells
Finding out the secrets words won't tell
Whatever it is it can't be named
There's a part of my world that' s fading away

You know I don't want to be clever
To be brilliant or superior
True like ice, true like fire
Now I know that a breeze can blow me away
Now I know there's much more dignity
In defeat than in the brightest victory
I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

Hang on to the good days
I can lean on my friends
They help me going through hard times
But I'm feeding the enemy
I'm in league with the foe
Blame me for what's happening
I can't try, I can't try, I can't try...

No one knows the hard times I went through
If happiness came I miss the call
The stormy days ain't over
I've tried and lost know I think that I pay the cost
Now I've watched all my castles fall
They were made of dust, after all
Someday all this mess will make me laugh
I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know
If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

It's like somebody took my place
I ain't even playing my own game
The rules have changed well I didn't know
There are things in my life I can't control
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There's a part of my life that will go away

Dark is the night, cold is the ground
In the circular solitude of my heart
As one who strives a hill to climb
I am sure I'll come through I don't know how
They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive

I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

you don't smell like santa...

clearly, i am watching elf for the ZILLIONTH time this season.. it seems like a different christmas this year for all of the obvious reasons. the tree is up, and i've gathered some old time christmas things from moms house. so far, there is only one present under the tree.. the surprize gift i made for steve. honestly, besides that and one other gift i haven't quite finished yet, all of my christmas shopping will be done tomorrow. i've watched the grinch on VHS and spent alot of time in front of the christmas tree with various cups of tea and eggnog. tonight was a treat. my friend chris gave me a tin of hand-rolled jasmine dragon pearl tea.. it's so delish.. AND quite interesting to watch brew. these little itty bitty pearls open up into jasmine leafs and release this amazing fragrance.. it was quite a treat.

today was spent in western MA. i got to see krissisan for the first time since she left in july. i CANNOT believe how much she has changed since she went into the army. she is so happy and fresh that it makes me so gushingly happy for her i don't even know how to express it in words. ever since we were kids, she was never quite sure what or where she wanted to go. she always put her heart into everything she did, but was never excited about it. to hear her talk about it and to see the expression she has is just completely outstanding. she was even talking about going into active duty. this, of course, petrified me to begin with.. mostly because i was ignorant to exactly what happens to folks who are active in the military... she explained it and now that i'm a bit more educated, i think its the best choice she's ever made. i also told her yes.. go active and see the world.. it will give me a good excuse to travel to see you :)

i'm also looking forward to new years. as stephen is leaving for the south and nerdcon, my dates will be dave and nichelle. i couldn't be happier. so far the plan is to rock out around boston at first night and then catch the fireworks on the waterfront at midnight. i cannot wait. it will also be very strange to have the house to myself for a week...

things with the house seem to be moving forward, although at a very slow pace. january looks to be the dumpster rental time, we would have done it sooner, but holidays and a having to work so many hours have kind of put the kibosh on that. since being hired i've kind of been the low man on the totem pole which means i get the least amount of time off. while i really like my job in general, like krissisan, i'm really not very fulfilled. working with art supplies is awesome but the people that come to get them are generally douchebags. i'm hoping that i can get a lead with a local company with some creative folks through a friend in the nearish future.. i've been working my ass off on a website that will serve as my digital portfolio.. i've also been illustrating like mad to have a physical one as well.. slowly but surely, it's all coming together.

i hope everyone (whoever reads.. i never know because y'all are always very quiet) has a great holiday..

merry merry!!!

getting to know you

i've found secrets. not big secrets.. but interesting ones. they've come in the form of old love letters and lots of photos, items i haven't seen in decades.. some things i didn't even know existed. it's kind of exciting, and it kind of makes me feel like my mom's not totally gone and that i am getting to meet her in ways i didn't think were possible.

while trying to locate the ceramic nativity set my mom had painted many moons ago, i found buried treasure. to start at the beginning.. 15+ years ago, my mom painted these kitchen cookie-jar type things. they were in the shape of buildings.. or townhouses and shops. she had planned on putting our whole family into them. as far as i knew she only made 2. one that was "ellie's deli"/"deb's donuts" and another that was "tom's tavern". i always loved them and when i moved out here to boston about 7 years ago, she let me take them with me. by some freak stroke of luck.. they've survived all my moves.

these are them. the detail on them is the part i love so much. the "help wanted" in her little shops window and the kitties here and there always make me smile.



fast forward to the nativity search.. on top of the suspected box, i found another box (which believe me.. is a REAL trend in that basement). when i opened it, i found.. "trudy's trousseau" a dress shop. it was amazing. i didn't even know it existed. part of me is anxious to go through more boxes.. she always swore that there was another one somewhere.. and i thought she was bananas because i could never find it. the other amusing little detail.. is in the top left window is a lawyers office.



now they are in my kitchen in somerville.. together :)